University’s Answer To Shootings: HOCKEY PUCKS

It would appear progressives have another brilliant idea. More specifically Oakland University announced that in the unlikely event of an active shooter scenario on campus, students would now be able to defend themselves with a “hockey puck.”

No this isn’t a typo…

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According to the Detroit News, Oakland University professors will be getting hockey pucks to distribute among their students, to be used against a mass shooter who invades their school.

This “brilliant idea” is the brain-child of Oakland Universities Police Chief Mark Gordon — who apparently believes a “hockey puck” is equal to a metal projectile fired from a rifle, revolver or semi-automatic traveling at approximately 830 to 3,300 feet per second.

Gordon’s eye-popping idea of using hockey pucks to defend one’s self against a mass-shooter “emerged during a training session he was giving earlier this year on surviving an active shooter situation.”

The University bans all firearms on campus (unless you’re the deranged shooter), thus no firearms in self-defense for facility members. However Gordon suggests a hockey puck can do considerable damage in lieu of firearms.


The police chief recalled being hit in the head with a puck, saying, “It caused a fair amount of damage to me.”

This may actually explain his absurd proposal, which apparently the University has accepted.

OU’s journalism director, Garry Gilbert, said the idea of using a puck to stop an armed attacker “sounded silly” at first, but now, it makes sense to him.

Adding, “If we have to do that (fight), Chief Gordon has shown us you can surprise or disarm an assailant with an object. Grab anything you’ve got … a stapler or book … anything you’ve got and be prepared and charge him.”

The University began equipping its faculty and some students with hockey pucks this month as a “last resort” precaution in the event of an active shooter situation on campus.

In a telephone interview Tuesday evening Gordon told reporters, “It was not a well-thought-out strategy. It was a spur-of-the-moment-thing that had merit to it and kind of caught on.”

Tom Discenna, president of the American Association of University Professors, along with university faculty members and union executives all took part in one of the training sessions in June, which included the hockey puck concept. Soon after the session Oakland University was granted permission to purchase the pucks.

“We thought ‘yeah, that is something that we can do,'” he said. “We can make these available at least to our members and a fair number of students as well,” acknowledged Discenna.

Discenna continued his assertions that throwing an item in self defense such as a billiard ball at a possible assailant, has always been well received within the law enforcement community.

The union thus far has spent about $2,500 on a first batch of hockey pucks, each costing around 94 cents apiece, and each bars the union logo, and are being distributed to facility members to give out to their students for free.

The first batch of 800 pucks was distributed to faculty members on November 9th, with another 1,700 earmarked to students.  The university’s student congress has ordered an additional 1,000, he said.

Obviously this sounds like another “GUN FREE ZONE” debacle conjured up by progressives attempting to address the serious issue of mass-shootings, with another absurd idea…imagine a shooter with a semi-automatic confronting a terrorized student attempting to nervously throw a hockey puck…suicide!


  1. Daniel Spooner

    Hey Right-wingers – take a breath. At least this Lefty is taking some proactive action. Don’t try to equate one student with a puck against one student with a gun. That’s not a contest. What our anti-gun Lefty is trying to do is put the one student with a gun against tens of students all throwing pucks AND assuming once the gun-toter dunks or gets hit by a few pucks, AND the puck-throwers will rush forward and subdue the gunner. At least, that’s my interpretation of this weak proposal. But give the anti-gun weasel some credit. He acknowledged the innocent students’ need to have some method to fight back while the local police continue to fail in their “approved” response methods.

  2. Katie Did

    Actually, I think the billiard ball is a better idea. Most people already know how to throw a ball, even if they throw it “like a girl”. And they definitely hurt on impact! Throw enough billiard balls at anyone and they’ll run for cover. Daniel’s right about that.

  3. Right-winger David

    I agree. Give each student a half dozen billiard balls and establish a required course on how to throw them accurately. Extra credit could be offered to those who participate in an intramural competition.

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