Buzz Off Snowbirds

Have you ever been on vacation and felt like the locals were giving you the stink eye?

Well if you haven’t, I can assure you that you just weren’t paying close enough attention, because they definitely were. Here in the United States, the people who are usually giving the stink eye are what we refer to as “Snowbirds.”

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Florida, in particular, is just swarming with Snowbirds that flock down to the sunshine state the very second a flake of snow touches the ground up north.

Once you get yourself behind a Garden State tag, you already know that you’re about to be going 10 under the speed limit.

Floridians are outrageous drivers in the first place, but just having the presence of Snowbirds makes the whole driving process way more dangerous. Not only are northerners crazy drivers as well, but they are here on VACATION!

This means that they don’t give a damn about whether you’re late to work or if they aren’t going the speed limit. The only thing on their mind is how beautiful the palm trees are while blowing through the wind as they drive by.

Think you can go to the beach during the peak snowbird times of the year? HELL NO… You’d be lucky to even get a spot good enough to have your own personal space. Also, be careful where you sit, because the apartment buildings have rules, and if you sat in the wrong spot you might get told by some yank with a Giants sweatshirt on that you have to move.

Beaches down here are filled with “eye candy,” so much eye candy that some Italian blooded grandpa has to wear a tight speedo that exposes himself to everyone on the beach including his grandkids that are on break from their long island prep school.

Millennials, y’all are bad, but Florida has the largest percentage of seniors in America and this group of people are retirees from up north who literally have no care for those around them. Even if they’re store owners, they can’t even spit words out of their mouths. They scan your stuff, take your money, and just give you this look that spells out “G.T.F.O.”

Economies thrive due to those who vacate to places we can all consider drop-dead gorgeous (i.e., Miami / Boca Raton). Maybe we appreciate that or whatever, but if you’re going to be a cliché fanny pack lovin’ tourist then we beg for you to stay home.

Try not to be so ignorant on the roads, and make sure you say thank you to people when you’re out. Simple common courtesy can propel you from being that frowned upon Snowbird to a fellow Floridian friend.

2 comments

  1. pierremontagne

    Florida is part time home to over ONe Million Canadians. Half form Ontario and Half form Quebec.
    The Quebec Drivers are known back in Caanda as Canada’s worst drivers.

  2. Leon

    Florida, you can’t take all the credit for slow driving Snow Birds, there are thousands of them on the roads in Arizona and they don’t seem to know any traffic laws at all! I’m not sure they know their own traffic laws in their home states. They turn left from the right hand lane, don’t stop for red lights when making turns and damn few use their turn indicators to let you know they are turning or changing lanes.

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