Orgasms: #MeToo

2019 is off to a strong start for women. In the workforce, in politics, in the home, and the streets — women are finally claiming what they feel they are indebted to and they aren’t making apologies in the process.

More than anything, women are taking ownership of their bodies and autonomy. They are slowly finding their voice and the courage to express when they’re uncomfortable, disrespected, objectified, and assaulted.

Being vocal and assertive about what you don’t like is all very well and good  Yay, feminism! But, it would appear to me that we’re spending an awful lot of time talking about what we don’t like and not enough time talking about what we do like. (And no, I’m not talking about wine and Starbucks lattes and winter scarves.)

I’m talking about the elusive, mysterious, and very-often-misunderstood female orgasm.

Yeah, that’s not just a myth, guys and gals! It’s a real thing and it’s a very enjoyable and powerful thing that virtually all women are capable of achieving and way too many women aren’t experiencing. For centuries now, female orgasms have been unattended to, lost, and long forgotten – like they’re some kind of pipe dream as opposed to a basic, biological response that makes being human fucking awesome.

(Editor’s note: for any lesbians reading this article, you can stop right here. There’s a 99% chance you’ve got your orgasm and your partner’s orgasm on lockdown. For all you breeders or practice-breeders out there – listen up!)

This whole “Field of Dreams” female orgasm business has GOT to end. It’s 2019. We all have the technology, literature, and independence to be able to take charge of our own pleasure and the pleasure of our partner. I’m sure back in the “ol’ timey” days, women weren’t given the opportunity to explore and enjoy their own bodies. Nor were they allowed to express to their penis-doting counterparts that they were 4” off the clitoral landmark and 5 minutes too early dealing with their own orgasm.

Then, somewhere along the line, some medical journal verified that there was (in fact) a female G-spot and for like 10 minutes, men everywhere went rooting around like they were on some kind of treasure hunt expedition, only to get bored with the prospect and focus on the loose change they had to work with.

And women just kind of let it happen… and we continue to let it happen maybe because we’ve been taught to be polite. Maybe because we’ve been taught to be subordinate. Maybe because we’ve been taught to cater to men. Maybe because we just got frustrated and lost all hope. I’m not sure exactly how or why a lot of women have trouble expressing to their partner what they need in order to climax, but c’mon ladies! Get it together.

Man has landed on the moon. They have located the gay gene. They have created algorithm programs. They can spot a ding in their car from a mile away. They sure as shit can locate your clitoris.

But that’s just half the battle. Getting you to actually orgasm? That’s on you, ladies. Ultimately, you have to take responsibility for communicating what you want — expecting a guy to know exactly what you need in order to climax is kind of like telling him to come to your house with no address or GPS. It’s a long-shot that he’s going to reach the destination with no guidance.

Here’s the thing: telling a guy exactly what you want, sexually or otherwise, doesn’t make you bossy. It doesn’t make you annoying, or alpha or whatever archaic label is associated with being in control in the bedroom. If telling a guy what you like or don’t like in your nether regions threatens his masculinity, I PROMISE YOU he’s never going to care about whether you cum or not.

So, let’s start a #metoo movement, but in a more positive direction. Instead of bitching about what we don’t like, let’s start expressing what we do like. Let’s own our autonomy in a positive and more productive way. Any guy worth his salt is going to appreciate your guidance and your body will thank you …hopefully multiple times in a night.

Instead of just #metoo, I say… #orgasmsforMETOO!

4 comments

  1. Buah Burke

    Damn! It’s about time someone with a sense of humor and take-no-prisoners style shot this target down in one fell swoop. Awesome nightcap!

  2. I’ve been saying this for 23 years at my Pure Romance parties but not said nearly as well as you! Thank you for giving women the permission they may think they need and compelling them to experience the best feeling in the world! I applaud you!

  3. Christopher

    Though I may agree with the general principals of the article, it left much to be desired (no pun intended) as to style and reality. Take it from an old hand at this (no pun intended) being a 70’s plus male, that there have always been guys out there that cherished giving pleasure to women; and took the time to learn how. I wont say it was easy for us guys, as often you gals made it doubly difficult, in not knowing your own sexuality. In essence, we often have to discover it for you, if not with you. The reasons for all this is beyond scope here. But even from an early age — late teens, early twenties — I was quietly convinced, and to a certain extent, self-proven, that every woman was fundamentally capable of multiple orgasms. Period. Q.E.D. Without question. It became a “jealousy” thing with me, in that such multiples were not similarly achievable by me. Mostly, one had to kind of stand back and watch the incredible display of multiple female orgasms. A point that I would like to make is that most orgasm-challenged gals were just bad at picking the right guys — the “bad boys” — that for some reason were so attractive. Those guys were never concerned with input as much as with output. I think it is impossible for men — even good one — to understand women. I still don’t. But if you love women, and take the time, they can leave you in the dust, when it comes to sexual pleasure. Admittedly, that still pisses me off a bit. It is still fun to hold on for the ride.

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