If you Keep Asking Yourself “Why Me,” You Are Asking the Wrong Question
How many times in life have you stopped to ask yourself “Why Me?” We all do it, and it could be over something as mundane as getting a flat tire when you are already running late for a meeting, or as profoundly tragic as you or a loved one receiving a cancer diagnosis.
Tragedies big and small enter everyone’s life. No one, not even the most pious or righteous among us is exempt from them. Which means that asking “Why me?” is a self-centered perspective, one that is not in tune with the bigger picture.
When you stop to realize that suffering is universal, you will understand why asking “Why Me,” is a pointless question to ask.
With the understanding that you have not been singled out to suffer the tragedies that befall you, then you can change your perspective and approach the bad situations in your life with a very different question. Psychologists suggest instead of asking “Why me?” a better question might be, “Why not me yet?”
The idea of asking “Why not me yet?” is to turn your perspective outward instead of inward, and instead of dwelling on your personal tragedies, focus on all of the good things you have going for you, and the other worse things that have befallen others, and have not “happened to you yet.”
When you do this, you not only will develop empathy, but also a greater appreciation for the things you do have around you. You might notice you have your health, a roof over your head, people who care about you, a stable support system, and access to quality food, among a litany of other things.
The point is, when we get into a rough spot, and ask “Why Me,” it is a self-defeating one-way ticket to toxic emotions like resentment, envy, and self-pity. Emotions that are going to make any bad situation, that much worse.
You need to cancel the “pity party.” Just remember the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Disease happens. Accidents happen. Sh*t happens. So when you find yourself getting caught up in the “Why me?” self-pity mindset, instead, ask “why not me yet,” take a look at the bigger picture and count your blessings.
“Why not me yet,” reminds you that terrible things can happen to you, but as for right now, you have a lot to be thankful for. There can always come a day when things can and will get worse, so you must appreciate what you have right now and not let it slip through your grasp.
“Why not me yet,” also reminds you that no matter your age, or what you are going through right now, your “time” may still be coming, the best of times are “yet” to come!